It's not an STD, nor is it a country in North America

I may have mentioned in a previous post that fall allergies kick my ass.  They always bring the unwanted sinus infection, so I am no stranger to antibiotics, and I take antihistamines 365 days a year.  This fall allergy season, however, has brought on a whole new experience for me.  

I started my first antibiotic right around Labor Day weekend.  Apparently my sinuses are assholes.  As of Sunday, I was on day 8 of a 20 day cycle for my 4th antibiotic.  Yeah.  Good times.  The sinus infection of all sinus infections.  I've taken a Z-pack, Cefdinir, Levaquin and Clindamycin.  These last two are the bullies on the playground, but they were no match for the assholes.  What this team of bullies did do was make me feel like I had the flu, chronic fatigue, and mono all at the same time.  Oh, and did I mention I still had the infection?  Yeah.  My allergist, though very smart, was just not making the right calls.  I decided to divorce him.  

I believe in the benefits of chiropractic care and as I was sharing my struggle with the assholes she said, "I can walk you across the hall if you want to see one of our allergists."  God bless her.  (She shares a practice with a general practitioner and an allergist.)  Paulina, the allergy PA says, "No more antibiotics.  They aren't working.  We will do allergy testing next week and I will do a food panel as well because I'm sure that there are some food issues that are adding to your problem.  It's time for a new approach."  YES!  I love you, Paulina!  Until I don't.....

Paulina says that this infection is fungal.  Yes, boys and girls, there's a fungus among us.  She says that I'm most likely over-run with yeast.  The yeast is a bi-product of all the antibiotics, but also a likely culprit for the snot factory.  Sexy, right?  "Yes, you definitely have allergies, and we need to address those, but the Candida overgrowth is a bigger problem."  Excuse me?  The what?  I do not have an STD and to my knowledge I don't go to Calgary until December.

Candida (yeast), apparently, is the real asshole.  (Sorry sinuses.  I didn't mean what I said.  Forgive me.)  How do I get rid of it?  Continue taking pro-biotics, take an arsenal of anti-yeast medications and go on a 30 day Candida protocol diet.  Um, ok.  I'll do whatever I need to do to feel better, but what the heck is a Candida protocol diet?  Basically it means no sugar, grains, wheat, carbs, dairy or fermented beverages for 30 days.  

Does anyone else notice that there is no wine on here?  

Yesterday sucked.  I'm not gonna lie.  You know that song, "How Do I Live Without You?"  It was on the "Con Air" soundtrack, recorded by Tricia Yearwood and also by LeAnn Rimes, and it caused all kinds of controversy at the Grammy Awards because LeAnn performed it but Tricia rightfully won the Grammy.  Yeah,  I'm pretty sure that was written about my relationship with carbs.  I went through a moment of panic as I was trying to figure out how to live without them for the next 30 days, but I'm a big girl.  I can do this.  I spent a small fortune on produce at HEB and really wanted to explain myself to the pharmacist when I picked up a 40-day supply of anti-fungal medications.  "Dude, do not direct me to the Monistat.  It's not that kind of yeast problem."  Having said that, wouldn't it be easier to just cram some of that stuff up my nose?  Yeah, probably not.  That wouldn't target the chronic fatigue, joint pain, lethargy, and headaches.  But it sure did sound like a viable option at first.

So, what's the good news?  First, I'm likely to drop 10-20 lbs this month.  Second, I finish this protocol two days before the most carbalicious, sugary, yeasty holiday celebration of all...Thanksgiving.

Bring on the pie, bitches!