I love my children. I really do. Being a full-time mother was my dream from an early age. Well, that and winning Star Search, but whatever. God blessed me with two gorgeous boys and the ability to stay home with them. We have so much fun together for the most part, but no amount of love can prevent those days where you really just want to list them on Craigslist. That being said, I'm sure there are days where I should be sold on Craigslist so that they can have a better mom and my sweet husband can have a better wife.
Here are some of my most shining moments...
- That time I drove for an hour without the kid being buckled in his car seat
- That time I sat and drank chardonnay while watching The Wiggles at 2 pm. (It was an Australian blend)
- That time I was so sleep deprived that as I was carrying my newborn I totally ran into the door frame with his head.
- That time I locked both children in the car while it was running and had to try to explain to my 3 year old how to unbuckle his seatbelt and unlock the door
- That time I couldn't find the oldest child for a while and then heard faint noises only to find him locked in the car in the dark garage (apparently he didn't remember how to unlock the door from the previously mentioned incident)
- That time the 11 month old fell out of the basket at Target and hit the floor because the 4 year old unbuckled him.
- That time I was convinced "motherfucker" was going to be my youngest's first word
- That time I told my oldest that all the Little Einsteins died because I couldn't stand to listen to "pat, pat, pat, pat" one more damn time
- That time I told the preschool that I would come get my screaming, fever-running child after my haircut was finished (What? I couldn't leave with half of my hair cut!)
- That time I left a basket FULL of groceries at the store because I couldn't stand to be in the store for one more second with two screaming, whining children.
- That time I tore up the hubby's reimbursement check before making sure the mobile deposit went in
- That time I sent my fair-skinned child to soccer camp without a ball or sunscreen (for the second day in a row thankyouverymuch)
- Did I mention that time I backed into a damn tree and didn't feel at all sorry for my kid who had just fallen and was screaming like his leg had been blown off in battle???
After texting with my cousin this morning and hearing that she sent her youngest to school with dog shit on his shoe because she was so mad at him she wouldn't let him do anything more than wipe it on the grass, It made me wonder what your proudest Mommy/Wife moments are. PLEASE SHARE!!!! Use the comments section! If you're too ashamed to go public, just post as "anonymous" or "Anastasia Beaverhausen" and I promise you, we will not judge!!!
the time my 13 month old fell all the way down the stairs and before I took him to the ER to make sure he didn't " break his brain" as my 5 year old said, I put on mascara and grabbed clothes to change him into because I didn't want to look like ' that mom' in the ER with the kid in the dirty white onesie from the day before (changing clothes every day is optional in my house)
ReplyDeleteWait, boys wear clothes at home?
DeleteFrom my friend, Kelley:
ReplyDeleteOk it won't ever let me comment so here is my mom moment: That time my kids were going "mom,
Mom, mommy, mom" and I said "my name isn't mom
anymore. It's $hit and you're not allowed to say that." Feel free to borrow that one!!!
My kids know to ask "is this a drink kids can have?" before they touch anything I am drinking (and when dishes are backed up, I've been known to drink rum out of a sippy cup.
ReplyDeleteReally ashamed of this one- put the kids in the bath so my husband and I could have some "adult time"... There wasn't that much water...
Drove down the German autobahn for 3 hours then up a mountain... Only to realize my sons car seat was never latched into to seat.
When I was 2 I went around a party drinking up all the "apple juice" (it was really Scotch on the rocks) my parents and their friends had left sitting on the table. Maybe that explains things....
DeleteYou may have inspired my next blog post--The Value of a good F-Bomb...about my inability to curse effectively.
ReplyDeleteI aim to inspire
DeleteOh it's in the works now.
DeleteI was busy talking on the phone, went outside to get firewood for the fire my 18 month old requested (I'm not Amish, btw. You might have surmised that by my electronic post.) I locked myself out of the house. With my 18 month old inside. After I had put sausage on the stove to cook. My husband was at work 40 minutes away. Frantic call to my husband and a local locksmith. The locksmith got there quickly, but couldn't get the lock unlocked (maybe that's why he was available so quickly). We had to break the window when the smoke alarm went off. My son had crawled into his high chair and buckled himself in - guess he felt safe that way!
ReplyDelete"Mommy! Quit playing outside and make my dinner!"
DeleteMy 3 year old used to sing his favorite song, "Fuuuuckity fuck fuck fuck" over and over. Needless to say, when he was baptized, we practiced before just to make sure he wouldn't curse when the actual time came. Luckily, he didn't, but the priest was ready to perform an exorcism just in case.
ReplyDelete