Summer is almost upon us! My oldest and I enjoy spending summer days in our pajamas and hitting the pool if and when we feel like it. The summer of 2014 will be a new adventure. This will be my first summer to have my youngest home during the day in 3 years. This poor guy needs some structure. Idle time creates a monster. He needs a plan. Mommy needs a plan. Summer for most people means easy days of sleeping in, flying by the seat of your pants, doing whatever you want whenever you want it. For me with my boys, it means "Oh. Shit."
I have daily themes, y'all. I have color-coded calendars. We have therapy appointments. We have field trips. We have pajama days with carefully thought-out activities to keep us busy while having the appearance of being lazy. We have 477 pools to visit just in our neighborhood. I have three road trips planned. (Damn, you Suburban. Why did you die? WHY????) I have everything planned. Did I mention I am a planner? I've often said that we plan our lives and God sits back and laughs and laughs. I am fairly certain that there is some pointing, crying, knee slapping, and snorting going on when He looks down on me. The past two weeks have been a not-so-gentle reminder of that.
I was to attend a scheduled meeting in which we would plan the accommodations and modifications for Clay's kindergarten year. I got there and it wasn't on the calendar, even though I WATCHED THE LADY WRITE IT ON HER CALENDAR. Oh, and then I found out that all-important meeting can't happen until August. Neat. Ok. Next? I was given the ok to get back to running after a break due to this crazy thing I have happening with my foot. Went to get my new shoes and it turns out I hate them. I can't run in my old shoes because just putting them on my foot causes waves of pain. Well, shit. I sat down and wrote out the budget, made a meal plan, put aside savings, did all the stuff that would make Dave Ramsey proud. Fast forward to both dogs going to the vet, needing new floor in my youngest's room due to one of the dogs using his room as her personal toilet, and, and, and.... I set the alarm for church this morning, excited and a little nervous because this is the first Sunday we're singing in a different worship space while the sanctuary is under construction. Guess who doesn't have a voice? Damn.
Leave it to God to always remind you to keep things in perspective. My dear friend and neighbor might be the only person I know who has a harder time than I do releasing the control. She has 4 gorgeous kids, runs a ministry, volunteers at school, and is in the middle of writing a book. Thursday, I had to rush her to the hospital. I won't go into detail, but just know that it was bad, y'all. Really bad. And it was something that was totally out of anyone's control. She kept trying to manage all of the things that were going on around her and I kept saying, "Release the control, woman." I'm pretty sure she finally gave in when she was anesthetized, but the second she was awake, she was at it again. Then, on Saturday, she and her hubs went out to celebrate with some friends and the baby drank tie-dye fluid. Really?
I've been reminded that sometimes you just have to go with the flow. This is hard, y'all. I'm not a flowy person. I need a plan. I need color-coded calendars. I need structure. I need a plan. But, more importantly, I also need Grace. I need Grace for myself, for my kids, and for everyone around me. And for those days when I feel like I don't have enough Grace to make it one more minute, I will remember 2 Corinthians 2:9 which says "9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me."
I love you Amy.
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