Y'all. I love Christmas.
I LOVE Christmas.
I. LOVE. CHRISTMAS.
I love the weeks leading up to it. I had a Christmas wedding because I love Christmas so much. My house is usually decorated for Christmas the night before we leave for Thanksgiving just so we can come home to Christmas decorations. I love singing Christmas music. I love everything about it. I love shopping for other people and choosing special gifts for them. I love planning what Santa's 3 gifts will be for each kid...Jesus got 3 gifts so they get 3 gifts. I love watching Christmas movies. I love celebrating my youngest's birthday the week before. I love addressing and receiving cards. I love baking. I love ALL of the Christmas things! But this year, y'all, someone is trying to jack my joy.
It all started right before we left for Thanksgiving. I noticed my giant lab, Boris, had a big, puffy pocket inside his ear. That would be an aural hematoma. Shit. My dog has chronic ear infections due to allergies. We started on allergy shots this summer....yes, you read that correctly. Allergy shots for the DOG...but it hasn't been a long enough period of time for them to work their magic, so homeboy got an ear infection mid-November. With the ear infection comes a lot of flapping and scratching which ultimately caused the hematoma. If you want to be grossed out, watch this hematoma surgery being performed. I shouldn't have, but I did, and now I'm traumatized. Anywho, I knew that we would need to have surgery when we got back because the longer the hematoma stays, the more Boris would scratch it, the bigger it would get, and the more chance for rupture. Ew. So, I took big 'un to the vet the day after we got home and sure enough, surgery was scheduled for the very next day. Side note - we closed all of our credit cards the week before Thanksgiving because we (translation: I) want (translation: need) to be forced to stop using them. Yes, I had to give myself some tough love. It was ugly and there were tears and gnashing of teeth but I pulled up my big girl panties and got over it. Needless to say, the first week in December wasn't exactly optimal time to have a doggy surgery, but it was necessary, so you gotta do what you gotta do. Long story short, the vet got in there and while the hematoma was pretty straight-forward, apparently he had a lot of funk in the ear that had to be removed and the surgery ended up costing $800. For real.
We get Big Boris and his drunk, drugged up self home and it was so pitiful. He laid around for 2 days. And then the meds and anesthesia wore off and he went full-on crazy. I let him out and he started dragging his $800 ear in the grass and then scratching it. Oh hell no! You scratch the $800 ear, you get the cone. That dog was slamming into walls and door frames and ripped half of the ornaments off the tree with that thing. It was broken in half in a day! This is why we can't have nice things y'all. So, cone number two came into our lives. What you also need to know is that he is on his second head wrap. Yes, second. We had to go back to the vet this morning because he pulled the damn thing off. In the middle of the night last night, he wacked into a wall (on purpose I'm sure) which was the final demise of cone number 2
It make it 2 days. We are now on cone number 3.
This bitch is indestructible.
Please note the look of "Mom, I'm so going to pee in your closet."
The vet and I were talking about him and the fact that he's so agitated even when he's on his max dose of pain/anxiety meds. So, she did what any good doc would do. SHE PRESCRIBED XANAX. Oh, for the love.
The other thing that happened this week is that I got a speeding ticket. In a school zone. Right by my house. That's right. The PTO president was speeding. In the freaking school zone. Mr Motorcycle Cop asked me why I was speeding in said school zone. I stopped myself before telling him "It's been a stressful few days with my dog and I need to get to the liquor store before my kids get home" Something tells me he wouldn't have cared.
So, I've made it to Wednesday. The vet adventure this morning was quite interesting and the pharmacy called to verify that yes, indeed, the Xanax was for the DOG. I had a wonderful lunch with a great girlfriend and then I thought I'd stop by the store for a nice bottle of wine for tonight's dinner. The universe said, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" This was in the form of a very sad phone call from my youngest crying at school because he didn't feel good and needed to come home.
I know. I should count my blessings. I have a warm house. My dog is totally zoned out. Both boys are doing well in school. I can shop online next week. I have a great job that I love. I have amazing friends. Hubby and I have just celebrated our 16th anniversary. The cold front is here. I'm staring at my gorgeous Christmas tree, sitting by the fire. The only thing that could make it more perfect is a glass of wine....but I'm out.
