Who I Am

I have....

An amazing husband who is as good looking as he is kind and two gorgeous boys

(told ya)

A house that is a home

A great counselor

Debt

A very lovable 105 lb lap dog

Two reliable cars

Bills

Taken control of my health and wellness

Incredible girlfriends

Baggage

A relationship with God

The gift of a voice

The opportunity to stay home full-time

Laundry.  Lots of laundry

Self-confidence

No filter

A ton of appointments each week

I want...

My mom

Another dog

Granite counter tops

Wood floors

A clean house

Landscaping in the backyard

A new car

An Ipad

New clothes

A week-long vacation with my husband

To lose 10 more lbs

To sing professionally

A weekly massage

A large flat-screen TV in the living room

To be debt free

A closer relationship with God

More time with my girlfriends

More energy

More hours in the day

A personal shopper

Does anyone else see the random nature of these two lists?  

Today has not gotten off to a great start.  I'm not going to lie.  I considered opening a bottle of wine before I'd even had my coffee.  I was rear-ended while backing out of my parking spot after preschool drop-off.  I was creeeeeeeping out of my spot because there was a big ass SUV parked next to me and I couldn't really see around it.  I wasn't half-way out of my spot when WHAMMO!  Black mini-van slammed into me.  It's freaking birthday/Christmas/HOA dues time and a $500 deductible is not in the budget.  Yeah, yeah, yeah.  I'm ok.  My bumper will have to be repaired for the second time in two months, but nobody was hurt.  Not even the little darling who was nearly crawling up on my wrecked bumper saying "Ooooh, Mommy!  She has a Texas A&M shiny thingy on her car!  Look!  It's so shiny!"  Move, you little shit!  This parking lot is a danger zone and you are clearly not in the safest proximity of my bumper.

I digress....

WARNING!!!  WHINING AHEAD!!  FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS!!

Can I just tell you that this was NOT on my list of things to deal with today?  It's Clay's birthday and I have 6062 things to do before he gets home.  Dealing with insurance on an issue that will most likely be labeled my fault (even though it so effing was NOT my fault) was not on that list of things to do.  I have a house to clean and I have cupcakes to frost!  

All I really want to do is sit on my ass and drink wine.  I can take care of myself, eat right, exercise and maintain everyones' schedules OR I can be financially responsible, run the house, do the shopping and cooking and keep up with the laundry and cleaning.  I can't do both.  You're going to have to pick one.  Problem here is that I NEED TO DO BOTH!  

I am 37 years old.  I have a college degree. 

I NEED to be a better steward of finances.  I'm quite sure that Dave Ramsey would revoke my Financial Peace University diploma if he could.  I've taken the course.  I know what to do.  I know all about the asshat envelopes.  I hear the people call in on Fridays to scream "We're debt free!!!"  I so want to be one of those people.  I know what I have to do to get there.  The problem?  I don't want to eat rice and beans!  (Those things are NOT on the Paleo Diet, people.)  I tried canceling our cable.  I'd like Dave to come on over and listen to Clay flip his shit when he can't watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.  I once heard Dave tell the mother of a child with severe Autism that maybe she should cut back on some of his therapies to save some money.  And this right here is where Dave and I part ways.  I'm gonna tell you right now that Autism is NOT cheap. I am thankful for good insurance, even if I do have to call those bastards weekly because they haven't paid a claim they should pay.  But even with insurance, we pay enough to buy me lots of granite counter tops, TVs, and have a full-time housekeeper.  I wouldn't do it any differently, though.

Yes, I am a stay-at-home mom.  Problem is, I haven't quite figured out when the stay-at-home part happens.  I had a housekeeper for a while (I put her on hold until after the holidays after the incident in the parking lot today) and someone said, "Wait, why do you have one if you stay at home full-time?"  Please excuse me while I put my foot through your teeth.

I want to know how "those women" do it all.  You know who you are.  You show up at preschool drop-off looking like a Nike ad in your workout gear and then show up at pick-up in your cute outfit with your perfect hair and make-up.  How do you make gourmet meals in your large granite-laden kitchen 6 nights a week from organic foods that you raised in your perfectly landscaped backyard?  How do you find the time and money to pay for your gym membership, chiropractor, massage therapist, housekeeper, and ginormous fully-loaded SUV and serve on three committees at church, volunteer as room mom for 3 of your 4 kids, do all sorts of DIY stuff you found on Pinterest and have an immaculate house?  I'll admit it, I'm jealous.  I'm also convinced that you have some pile of shit you're standing in that none of us knows anything about.  

We are not perfect.  We are not machines.  We are human.  God created us in His image to be flawed and imperfect so that we would recognize His perfection and the grace that He pours out daily.  Let me tell you how much grace I'm swimming in over here.

When I asked Luke what he wanted for Christmas, he said he wanted a Wii-U.  When I told him he was out of his effing mind on that one (paraphrasing here), he said, "Oh, I figured, but it never hurts to ask.  I'd really just like to have a Rainbow Loom, some Legos and some pajama pants.  That's all I really need.  I don't need stuff.  I have you guys."  Later, I asked him what he wanted to give his teachers for Christmas.  He said, "Could we donate to a charity in their honor?" I'll pause now while some of you get a tissue and wipe your eyes and the rest of you pick your jaw up off the floor.  Clay is 5 years old today.  He has friends.  He sang "Jesus Loves Me" all the way to school today.  This is the child that I never knew if he was going to be able to talk and function in a neurotypical environment.  

  I'm vain.  I'm selfish.  I'm impulsive.  I'm needy.  I'm wanty.  

But...

I am a child of God.  I am a mother.  I am a wife.  I am an athlete.  I am a writer.  

I have everything I need and some of the things I want.

I'm doing the important things right.  I'll work on the things I need to do better.  

For now, I'll thank God for His grace and forgiveness...and for creating me to be exactly who I am.

The title bar of my blog describes me perfectly.

It's the moooooost wonderful tiiiiime of the yeeeeaaar!!!!

 Sing it with me, kids!!

Hello my loyal followers!  I hope the 12 of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving and are as happy as I am that the "moooooost wonderful tiiiiime of the yeeeeaaar" is upon us.  (Ok, I'll knock it off.  Maybe)

Just to update you on a few things:

 It takes 7 hours to lovingly wrap each branch of the unlit 9 ft tree.  I did this without wine.  It wasn't fun, but it looked nice when it was done and I knew that my work would not be in vain.  I even took the time to tape the outlets together that wouldn't need to be unplugged when I disassembled the tree.  I tied green ribbons on the outlets that were at the end of the line for that particular section of the tree.  I thought of everything, y'all!!!!  The tree stood in it's place for 2 weeks, anxiously awaiting decorations that would come AFTER we ate the bird and gave thanks.

  My 30 day yeast detox (that still just sounds gross) came to an end and I was glad to be able to have bananas and wine again.  Not together.  That's gross.  But I really missed my bananas.  Dare I say I missed them more than I missed my wine?  It was a good time to focus on the things that make my body wonky.  I learned that oranges give me migraines.  This really irked me because I love Cuties!  Those little bastards landed me in bed for two days.  Not so cute, you little orbs of pain.  I've decided that I'll adopt the Paleo lifestyle.  I know I sound like an infomercial, but it really does make me feel like a completely different person and if you order now, you'll get three Shake-weights and a Wax-Vac at no additional charge.

I am training for a marathon, and I had my longest run to date!  I ran a 25K race (that's 15.5 miles for those who don't have the conversion calculator in front of you) with some friends.  I loved it, except for the fact that I froze my ass off.  This pretty much confirmed that I need winter running clothes.  It took 4 hours and boiling myself in the shower before I could get warm.  It was fun, though!

Here I am with my friend Wendy.  

I really like the expressions on our faces.  

We look like we could shank someone.

  Thanksgiving was wonderful, as always.  My sister-in-law and I grew up together, and I have her to thank for my amazingly hot husband.  I met him when I sang in her wedding and we are now married to brothers.  It's really fun!  We decided 10 years ago that we would always spend Thanksgiving together.  We cook, we eat, we laugh, we play Nerts, and we eat some more.  We split the cooking duties amongst her, her mom, and me.  My contributions were cranberry brussels sprouts, sweet potatoes, wine (duh), and....get this....Chocolate Chip Cookie Pecan Pie Bars.  It's like a marriage of my two most favorite things.  Throw some bread pudding in there and I might just moan from the pleasure, but that's for a different kind of blog, y'all.  Anyway, I knew this would be amazeballs and I couldn't wait to make it!  It was gonna be glorious.  The angels were gonna sing.  Guess what?  It was the opposite of amazeballs.  Definitely not glorious.  The angels all had laryngitis.  Pinterest can kiss my arse.  The edges were burned and the middle was runny goo.  It was delicious runny goo, but runny nonetheless.  

So, I did what any self-respecting cook would do.  I scooped out some goo, put it on top of vanilla ice cream and threw away the pan.  I had to throw the pan in the trash because the foil liner was permanently baked into the pan.   

 

Remember that I'd been on the no-sugar thing for 30 days?  This was my first taste of sugar.  It also confirmed why I am a Paleo diet convert.  I was ill, y'all.  But it was worth it.  Good thing Meg and crew stopped at Cracker Barrel on their way to town.  They had a perfectly cooked Chocolate Chip Pecan Pie.  Thanksgiving was saved!!!!

Traditional Iron Chef aprons from the first Iron Chef Thanksgiving.  

Now, we don't still live in Midland and Denton, but does Iron Chef Italy live in Italy?  

No, he doesn't.

 

We gave our thanks a day early to allow Meg and crew ample time to get back to Dallas.  She's a nurse at Children's Medical Center and had to go make lives better for kidlets on Friday.  Thursday morning we got up at the crack of dawn to dash with the Turkeys.  I'm honored to be asked to sing the National Anthem at this annual event. I was even more honored to be able to actually run it this year!  

WOO HOO!!!

Finally, the day was here!  I could decorate my new tree and glitter the shit out of my house.  I plugged in the 9 ft tree that I'd so lovingly spent 7 hours lighting two weeks prior expecting to be blinded by the 1400 lights.  I was less than blinded.  The damn thing was dark as night!  ARE YOU KIDDING?  I felt like Clark Griswold when the lights on his house didn't work.  I cussed, I cried, and I may have done the worm.  I don't remember.  I was in complete disbelief and shock.  I called my bff, Erin.  She said, "Didn't you buy new lights and check them all?" It's a good thing she wasn't in front of me because I might have hurt her.  But, like any good bff, she talked me down and coached me through this difficult life moment.  The moral of the story?  It takes 7 hours to lovingly wrap each branch.  It takes 4 hours to untape the plugs, unwrap each branch, throw away the burned out strands and relight.  Know what?  It was worth it.

In the words of my sweet Papaw,

"I have worked hard!  I have earned this!"

On a personal note, December 2 is my anniversary.  

Hard to believe 13 years have flown by, but I'm looking forward to 130 more! 

 Love you, babe!

Oh, and one last thing....

 Words With Friends is WRONG!